“Sexual intercourse began in 1963 (which was rather late for me) between the end of the Chatterley ban and the Beatles’ first LP.” So wrote Philip Larkin. In 1969 the New York police raided a pub called the Stonewall. Gays rose up. “This was a Rosa Parks moment, the time gay people stood up and said no,” wrote Lucian Truscott of the Village Voice. A wave of new tolerance, then acceptance, swept around the world.
That’s all so last century. Now we have gender fluid, gender neutral and queer (definition still under discussion). But look a new one emerges: objectum sexuality. People who don’t fancy other people. They are romantically and sexually attracted to objects.
We are not making this up. Sexologist Amy Marsh wrote a book about it. One woman, who may have had a phallic obsession, married the Eiffel Tower. She changed her name to Erika Eiffel. Another got hitched to a train station. “It’s like being a lesbian,” she said, explaining she regards the station as her wife. “We are not crazy.”
Gender diversity in 2019 apparently knows no limits. Facebook recognises 71 different genders. Canada legally accepts people who identify as a third gender. If you do not consider yourself male or female you may put X when applying for a passport, for example. It means your identity is unspecified.
We all have to learn to speak Woke. Being “Woke” means you don’t just take one blue bill, you down the whole bottle. That’s one definition. Another is: Woke is about being pretentious about how much you care about a social issue. Most people need to learn to refer to themselves as cis. That is if you were born male you still — unaccountably some would laugh — identify as male. That makes you a cis man. Similarly, a female born with female genitals who continues to identify as female is a cis woman. Cis is the opposite of trans. It is from the Latin meaning “this side of”. Also you must watch pronouns: people who don’t identify as male or female don’t want to be referred to as he or she, but they.
Woke speak is a minefield for the uninitiated. Don’t confuse sex and gender. Just as the meaning of gay is quite different now, so is gender. A friend who mixes in LGBTQ circles and is well versed in Woke speak, explains: “Gender is between your ears, and sex is between your legs.”
You do not have to be seriously Woke, however. The LGBTQ community in Hong Kong has a sense of humour. Our friend says in gay bars you will hear laughter much of the time. Transsexuals, lesbians, gays, genderqueers, cross-dressers and a colourful spectrum of others will be laughing at and with each other. Has there ever been a funnier film than “La Cage aux Follies”**? “I am dancing like a monkey / We are what we are and what we are is an illusion / We love how it feels / Putting on heels causing confusion.”
If this tickles your sense of humour read Ben Elton’s “Identity Crisis”. Elton may be the best comic writer in English today. In the book a detective called Matlock, who is straight and cis, investigates a serious of murders. He gets deeper and deeper and more and more muddled as he tries to navigate the LGBT world and its gender mysteries in search of the killer. Only Elton can ring so much humour out of today’s vast gender diversity and PC-Woke speak.
If you are interested in Hong Kong’s LGBTQ community you can start by looking up the umbrella organisation, Pink Alliance. Here you find the gays’ ability to laugh at themselves — always a healthy sign — in such groups as “Fruits in Suits”. These are professionals who meet at varying venues on the third Tuesday of every month. The most popular gay night clubs in Hong Kong, our friend informs us, are FLM, Circo and T:me Bar.
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