ARIES: You’re disappointed to learn that contrary to all your previously held beliefs, Cape Town isn’t full of superheroes.
TAURUS: After hours of grooming and styling, you leave the house confident that your nasal hair is looking great today.
GEMINI: Do not tumble dry. EVER, do you hear me?
CANCER: If you had to describe yourself, you’d say you were a valued friend, a sensuous lover, a trusted colleague, and a consummate liar.
LEO: If you’ve ever wondered if you’d be able to steer a car after a tire blows, why not try sneezing while taking a piss?
VIRGO: This month why not convince people you’re not a psychopath by not committing a string of sickening, psychotic murders fifty years ago?
LIBRA: Look, government snooping into people’s social media accounts isn’t going to affect anyone unless they’re involved in terrorism, money-laundering, drug-traffick… – why are you crying?
SCORPIO: Nothing like a cold glass of Chablis after a hard day’s work at the office. And by ‘hard day’s work’, I mean ‘sat scratching your balls’. And by ‘the office’ I mean ‘McCafe’. And by ‘Chablis’ I mean ‘window cleaning fluid’.
SAGITTARIUS: Comments are now closed, not that yours would have been of any value.
CAPRICORN: Bad news from the adoption agency, after you asked if they had any non-union ones that could work a 12-hour shift.
AQUARIUS: Due to a clerical error, you will spend the rest of the month as a Scorpio. Quick, start humping something!
PISCES: If you don’t like it, you do have the option to just stop watching it. But your passengers would prefer it if you’d pull over from the fast lane first.
For more from Sadie go to http://www.sadiekaye.tv and the Miss Adventure site: https://missadventurerthk.com
Be the first to comment