The Writer’s Gauntlet with Sadie Kaye is a regular column at The Hooghly Review. This article is being reprinted with The Review’s permission.
SK: If a detective looked at your browser tabs right now, would they arrest you, call an exorcist, or buy you a weighted blanket?
FF: They’d buy me the blanket, interrogate me, then quietly close the tabs and pretend they never
saw them.
When you’re stuck on a scene, grappling for a metaphorical weapon, do you precision-strike like a sniper, or spray and pray like Trump?
Precision-strike. I’ll stare down one sentence until it gasps for air and convince myself that swapping one adjective will fix my entire broken plot.
What’s a word you’ve used in a draft that you definitely don’t know how to pronounce?
Quintessential. I know what it means. I just refuse to audit how it sounds coming out of my face.
Would you rather your protagonists sue you for emotional distress and gross negligence or be sentenced to life in a Happy Ending colony?
Sue me. I’d rather defend my artistic cruelty in court than mandate a happy ending.
Would you rather delete your favourite 5,000-word chapter or replace every instance of ‘said’ with ‘ejaculated’?
Delete the chapter. I have standards.
Are your characters named after ancient deities and celestial bodies, or did you just glance at a spice rack and decide ‘Cumin’ sounded heroic?
Neither. I just cycle through names until they stop sounding like fictional constructs and start sounding like people who would actively avoid me in real life.
If you could magically delete one trope from existence, which one are you throwing under the bus with zero regrets?
The absolute lie that a woman’s entire character arc should begin and end with getting the guy.
Do your protagonists guide you toward the light, or sit on your shoulder whispering, ‘Kill the mentor, kill the mentor’?
They usually just look at me and whisper, “You thought you were in control?” Which is significantly more terrifying.
If your WIP characters were ghosts, would they help you find your keys or rearrange your furniture to match the mess in your head?
They’d rearrange the layout, hide my keys, then manipulate me into apologising to them for the mess.
What font do you write in and why is it superior to everyone else’s?
Times New Roman. Not because it’s superior, but because my brain only trusts a font that looks like it’s survived multiple academic meltdowns.
Oxford Comma: Life-saving necessity or pretentious clutter?
Life-saving necessity. I will die on this hill, grammatically correct and properly punctuated.
Plotter or Pantser?
A meticulous plotter who routinely gets possessed by a chaotic pantser.
What’s your writing ritual and why is it a cursed superstition?
I require ‘the perfect atmosphere.’ Unfortunately, that requires a precise configuration of lighting, caffeine, music, alignment of the planets, and exactly 47 minutes of aggressive procrastination.
One word that makes you go feral every time you see it misused?
“Literally.” Literally.
What non-existent job do you wish existed?
Professional overthinker. I have years of unpaid experience.
Would you rather find a typo in the first sentence of your freshly published novel or the last?
The last. At least I could spend the rest of my life pretending I was making a profound statement on imperfection.
Would you rather your status on Submittable remain forever ‘received’ or ‘in-progress’?
Received. “In-progress” is like being stuck in a beige waiting room with no wifi.
What cartoon character best represents your ride or die? (Alternatively explain why ‘ride or die’ makes you go feral)
Tom from Tom and Jerry. Dramatic, determined, makes terrible life choices, yet shows up the next day like nothing happened.
Which creature adds more joy to your world: butterflies or geckos?
Butterflies. Geckos have not once made me feel like I’m in a coming-of-age movie.
If you could teleport, but only to places you’ve tripped and fallen, where are you tripping?
To the floor. It turns out my clumsy childhood was just me mapping out my future teleportation network.
Cursor status: blinking and judgmental or solid and reassuring?
Blinking and highly judgmental. It knows I know that I’m winging it.
What’s the last thing you researched that has probably put you on a government watchlist?
Probably something completely harmless that looks like domestic terrorism out of context.
Drafting fuel: coffee, tea, liquor, Haribo or the tears of your antagonists?
Tea and the tears of my antagonists. Preferably served in the same mug.
Are you a ruthless assassin or a sentimental hoarder on a kill your darlings scale?
Sentimental hoarder. I will defend a useless paragraph for six months only to delete it at 2AM in a fit of clarity while feeling like a war criminal.
Stinky Books: old library vanilla or fresh-off-the-press chemicals?
Old library vanilla. Put me in a room full of decaying paper and I will forget every adult responsibility I have.
Your author’s bio as a clickbait headline?
‘Dramatic, Determined, Makes Terrible Life Choices, Yet Shows Up The Next Day Like Nothing Happened:’ Sri Lankan Teen Drops Whole Novel Before Her Prefrontal Cortex Even Finishes Loading; Reveals Why Her Ride-or-Die is Tom from Tom & Jerry (Not Donald Lame Duck)
How do you write: sitting like a human or perched like a gargoyle?
A deeply suspicious hybrid of both. Ergonomics is a myth.
Describe your latest WIP using three emojis and no context.
One word you’ve banned from your vocab because you’ve overused it?
“Just.” I just can’t stop using it.
‘Chaos Desk’ or ‘Aesthetic Nook’?
Aesthetic Nook. The structural damage belongs inside my head, where it’s hidden.
Would you prefer a 1-star review that says ‘This changed my life for the worse’ or a 3-star review that says ‘It was fine’?
The 1-star. At least they felt something.
Are you an Ellipsis… (trailing off into mystery) or an Exclamation Point! (perpetually caffeinated and/or yelling)?
Ellipsis… I like leaving just enough unsaid to make the reader wonder if I’m that deep or just lost the plot of my…
Would you rather commit bookish blasphemy by dog-earring the pages of a rare first edition or reading the ending of every book before you start chapter one?
Read the ending first. Dog-earing a rare text is a crime against humanity.
In a post-apocalyptic world, is your primary contribution navigating by the stars or knowing which snacks stay edible the longest?
Navigating by the stars. If civilization collapses, I intend to be entirely useless but highly aesthetic.
Who is your ultimate nemesis: the person who types ‘K’ as a full response or the person who leaves 1 second left on the microwave?
K. A single consonant should not possess that much psychological warfare capability.
If you had to turn into an animal for an hour every day, are you a Majestic Hawk (great view, very cold) or a Fat Housecat (great nap, very judged)?
Fat housecat. I already possess the range.
Is ‘breakfast for dinner’ a symbol of freedom or a sign that society has failed?
Freedom. Some of society’s greatest achievements began with knowing when breakfast tastes better.
What’s the most useless talent you possess that you humblebrag about?
I can weaponize a mundane social interaction into a full psychological autopsy in under thirty seconds.
FIDHA FAHMY – YOU HAVE PASSED THE WRITERS GAUNTLET!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR WIT AND WRITERLY WISDOM!
Think you’ve got what it takes to ride The Writer’s Gauntlet? Email or (preferably) DM Sadie on IG @KayeSadie @TheHooghlyReview
Fidha Fahmy is a Sri Lankan author and psychology student who apparently decided one novel was not enough. Her debut, The Girls from Istanbul, is a coming-of-age story about friendship, faith, identity, and the strange ache of growing up. She’s currently writing her second novel, which is proof of discipline or a sign she hasn’t learned her lesson.
The Girls from Istanbul by Fidha Fahmy. The Jam Fruit Tree Publications, March 2026 ISBN-13: 978-624-6633-77-6
Find her overanalysing on IG @authorfidhafahmy or read her mind-space on Substack @lettersbyfidha.
Sadie Kaye is a writer & performer from Sai Kung, Hong Kong. Her humour, fiction, rants & reviews have appeared in the South China Morning Post, Cha: An Asian Literary Journal, The Hooghly Review, Buzz & many anthologies. Her humour column for RTHK Radio 3, Sharp Pains, received nominations for Best Comedy from the New York Festivals Radio Awards and Moment of Comedy Gold from the International Women’s Podcast Awards in 2022 & 2023. She won the Comedy Women in Print Prize for Flash Fiction in 2024. She’s a producer for Contro Vento Films. Her most recent film, To Love A Narcissist, was released in North America on 19 May 2026 and will soon be available worldwide.
She can be found at https://sadiekaye.tv
Her life motto is you’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
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