ARIES: You’ll finally prove that there’s a shadowy conspiracy controlling literally everything that happens in Chater Garden.
TAURUS: A personal victory at being voted head of your local neighborhood watch is marred by the fact you live in a lighthouse on an artificial island inhabited only by you and 400 nukes, 7 miles from the coast of Big Wave Bay.
GEMINI: You’re throwing away that chair? All it needs is four legs and a back! Oh no, it’s a tray.
CANCER: Your self-image is a cross between Socrates and Michelangelo, but in reality you’re more Carrie Lam meets Larry the Lamb.
LEO: You’re thrown out of an upmarket furniture store when you ask the shop assistants for an ordinary, standard lamp and they keep bringing you these big, tall, freestanding industrial things.
VIRGO: Your dream of winning the Nobel Prize in Physics was never rightfully yours to begin with. HINT: Yours was the one about an eggplant that refused to take hints.
LIBRA: You’ll be torn between two suitors: one who is kind, selfless, supportive and loving – and one who is attractive.
SCORPIO: As ever, this month you should shag a Libra, marry a Gemini, and kill a Leo.
SAGITTARIUS: The natives will shrink in terror when you demonstrate your lighter.
CAPRICORN: It’s a good month romantically, as you begin a steamy new relationship, and a bad week financially, as your husband finds out and cancels your Centurion card.
AQUARIUS: The King’s men part you understand, but you’ve never really understood how all the King’s horses were supposed to help?
PISCES: It’s becoming increasingly apparent that you are becoming what you’ve always hated. Why not phone your father and let him know?
For more from Sadie go to http://www.sadiekaye.tv and the Miss Adventure site: https://missadventurerthk.com
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