ARIES: Remember, there’s only one race. The 4.24 at Happy Valley.
TAURUS: It takes a lot of skill to trip over flat surfaces, but this month you manage it on an almost daily basis.
GEMINI: Well aren’t you a little ray of pitch black!
CANCER: Mercury rising in your sign indicates that things are getting hotter, as the mercury has expanded, causing it to rise up the thermometer.
LEO: This will be a month of surprise after surprise, which will become tiresome after a few hours, terrifying after a few days, and unspeakable after that.
VIRGO: You used to have an open mind. But your brains kept falling out.
LIBRA: Of course you talk to yourself. Sometimes you need expert advice.
SCORPIO: Listening to Prince Harry talk about climate change provokes you to spray air freshener out of the window.
SAGITTARIUS: Life’s too short to still be drinking instant coffee that tastes of sand.
CAPRICORN: You’re still waiting for someone to say, “Yeah, I was a fruit picker – until those illegal immigrants arrived.”
AQUARIUS: Your attention span boasts two settings: completely disinterested or utterly obsessed.
PISCES: You like to burn bridges while you’re still standing on them so people know you’re damn serious.
For more from Sadie go to http://www.sadiekaye.tv and the Miss Adventure site: https://missadventurerthk.com
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