ARIES: You detest the phrase, “We’re through the looking glass here, People!” But you’ll have to use it anyway.
TAURUS: It’s a bull market, which is to say you are the victim of people trafficking.
GEMINI: Some people are like slinkies. Not really good for much, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
CANCER: You’ll research your family ancestry and discover you’re a distant relative of the guy researching his family ancestry across the table from you. So you really shouldn’t have slept together…
LEO: Another of your 50 Worst Dates, as you tell your date you used to be really into serial killers, but there haven’t been any good ones for ages.
VIRGO: The stars are sorry but somebody’s already thought of that. It didn’t work out then, either.
LIBRA: You’ll soon discover the only other person on Earth who cares about cuttlefish as much as you do, inspiring a mutual hatred that will last the rest of your short and violent lives.
SCORPIO: You’ll finally achieve your lifelong dream of hatching a clutch of Mini Eggs. “You’re beautiful!” you whisper, before you die.
SAGITTARIUS: Stop being too nice and ending up in situations that could so easily have been avoided, if only you had been more of an arse.
CAPRICORN: You’ve started going to the gym to be beach ready for your holiday. Given how much work’s needed, it’s Holiday 2029.
AQUARIUS: You love eavesdropping on buses because you hear the most fascinating tidbits. Today, you hear that some nosy bastard is about to get shanked on the 101.
PISCES: Start the day as you mean to go on. Drunk.
For more from Sadie go to http://www.sadiekaye.tv and the Miss Adventure site: https://missadventurerthk.com
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