ARIES: You go to see a psychic, but get drawn into her secret war with the magnetic healer in the opposite stall instead. Isn’t that always the way?
TAURUS: You are the most likely of all the star signs to get BSE. Remember BSE? No, you don’t. Because you have BSE.
GEMINI: TV loves cookery shows and shows about entrepreneurs, but you’ve still heard nothing from TVB about your idea to pit rival meth kitchens against each other.
CANCER: How about your thing for the month is that you stop killing our favorite celebrities, yeah?
LEO: As the most stylish of all the star signs, you’re self-consciously aware that your black three-quarter-length fringe doesn’t really go with an open facial wound.
VIRGO: As the most logical, analytical sign on the zodiac you’ve determined that your own belief in this horoscope is fundamentally impossible.
LIBRA: Catch 22 is in at least 2 ways better than Catch 20. Don’t get caught up in the Catch 20 loop.
SCORPIO: As the sexiest of all the star signs, you should avoid any romantic dalliances with Leos, who are the pimpiest of all the star signs.
SAGITTARIUS: Not a great week after you’re banned from Tinder because your profile pic is making all the other stalkers think their phones are haunted.
CAPRICORN: No, Netflix is not the same thing as Neighborhood Watch.
PISCES: The media will try to control your life. Many congratulations!
For more from Sadie go to http://www.sadiekaye.tv and the Miss Adventure site: https://missadventurerthk.com
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