ARIES: You claim to be a mind reader. Here’s a question for you…
TAURUS: You’re pretty sure a fortune cookie advising you “Why not treat yourself to a good time instead of waiting for someone else to do it?” is telling you to masturbate.
GEMINI: It’s not as if you have an insatiable thirst for blood. You’re just insatiably thirsty and blood happens to be what’s around.
CANCER: You’ve really got to hand it to short people. Mainly because they can’t reach it.
LEO: On Saturday you realise how badly named chopsticks are when you try to eat one with them.
VIRGO: You’ll soon stumble upon the secret to a happy marriage – a secret so simple, you’ll take perverse pleasure in keeping it from your spouse.
LIBRA: You’ll finally get your sweaty hands on a great wad of dirty cash, resulting in your arrest and immediate dismissal from your job as an HSBC cashier.
SCORPIO: After days of grave and anxious discussion, the stars have decided that it’s best you don’t know.
SAGITTARIUS: You will soon get a nicer job selling higher-quality chopsticks to a better class of eater.
CAPRICORN: You need the toilet more than other star signs. Apart from that, you’re dependable, realistic and dull as hell.
AQUARIUS: Somehow, you always thought that when you got to a certain age the clothes would be better.
PISCES: Love ends, sometimes bit by bit, sometimes suddenly, but it does end. That said; it’s a tad unusual for it to drive off the pier like that.
For more from Sadie go to http://www.sadiekaye.tv and the Miss Adventure site: https://missadventurerthk.com
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